So often, the narrative around International Women’s Day – and the entirety of Women’s History Month, for that matter – is centred around ‘what makes a woman’. On how society has shaped and suppressed and supercharged ideas of who and what women can be over time. It makes sense, considering we’re watching the progress we’ve made in recent decades to secure rights and freedoms for women roll back in real time. Yet one question we perhaps don’t consider enough, this month and always, is what women make us. Who the women in our lives encourage us to be.
Think back to the conversations you’ve had with people recently. It’s rare that even a few minutes will go by without a woman’s name cropping up: a friend, a partner, a parent or grandparent they’re close to. A teacher who shaped them into the person they are today; a mentor whose career advice has been invaluable; a famous figure they’ve modelled themselves on since they were a teen. There’s probably a woman you’re thinking of right now.
The same can be said for these friends of Service95 – 10 of our collaborators, from writers and filmmakers to cultural curators – who we’ve asked to share more about the most influential women in their lives. Here, they reflect on the role models whose guidance, friendship, ideologies and care have moulded them into the people they are today. These are the lessons we can all learn from them...
Alana S Portero
Alana is the Spanish writer, playwright and stage director you will likely recognise as the author of Bad Habit, one of Dua’s Monthly Reads for the Service95 Book Club. Discover their video interview here.
The Woman Who Shaped Who I Am Is... Roberta Marrero, an iconic Canarian artist. I’m convinced that building a life is the result of the actions of all the lives that surround it. The woman we become is part of that same process. I’m all of the women in my life, plus one more, myself. But if I had to choose just one of them, I would say Roberta. She’s probably the woman I’ve admired most in my life and the one I’ve most wanted to be like. I’m still trying to be like her. She still inspires me.
One Story I’d Love To Share About Her Is... About the first time I saw her, 25 years ago. She was DJing at a party, with her lips painted red and the most incredible smoky eyes. She was a heavenly vision. For me, it felt almost like a mystical experience. Roberta embodied many of the aspirations I held about womanhood and femininity. She was beautiful, solemn, creative, dark, extremely feminine and she possessed a devastating dignity.
Roberta Marrero was the first flesh-and-blood woman I ever wanted to resemble; the first woman whose legacy I wanted to inherit. She was made of the same stuff as my fictional heroines but was, at the same time, fiercely human, utterly real and gloriously a woman. Later, I discovered her visual art – her incredible collages, which should be exhibited in every contemporary art museum in the world – as well as her poetry, which defines femininity in a way I needed to read.
If I Could Say One Thing To Her Now, It Would Be... Is it cold in the water of eternity, Roberta? Is death what you expected?
To Me, Womanhood Is... A kind of animality made up of both tenderness and danger. A vocation for beauty. A universe made up of many selves that make you unique. Practising femininity means being one step closer to the myth.
Basma Khalifa
Basma is a Sudanese filmmaker, writer and founder of Zola Studios, which serves to tell stories of communities and people from the SWANA region. She’s longtime friend of Service95, interviewing actor Saja Kilani for Service95 Presents and collaborating with our Creative Producer Pia Brynteson on documentary The Creative Space.
The Woman Who Shaped Who I Am Is... My childhood best friend, Jamie Lee. We have known each other since we were about 12, and even when I moved away to Scotland as a teenager, we stayed in our each other’s lives. We’ve always been really close, even though we lead incredibly different lives. I went off to move to New York and London and pursued a life in fashion and then film, she got married at 16, met the love of her life and has had five children and stayed in our lovely hometown. But there’s always a shared understanding of the decisions we've made and why we've made them.
One Story I’d Love To Share About Her Is... When she asked me to be her witness at her wedding. I was 16, I skipped class – in fact, I skipped an afternoon of lessons – and I remember going to Gretna Green [in Scotland] and being asked to sign her wedding certificate. It was just a really special moment and I feel very grateful that I was asked to do that.
If I Could Say One Thing To Her Now, It Would Be... That I am incredibly proud not only of the mother and the wife that she is, but the woman she has become and the resilience she has. She never gives up. She always finds a way, and she always makes every day that little bit better.
Sabrina Elba
Sabrina is a Somali Canadian activist, UN Goodwill Ambassador and co-founder of melanin-inclusive skincare brand S’ABLE LABS. She shone a light on the hidden crisis in Ghana’s shea butter industry for Service95 here.
The Woman Who Shaped Who I Am Is... Without hesitation, my mother. She shaped the way I see beauty, strength, discipline and dignity. Watching a Somali woman navigate new countries, new systems and new expectations while holding on to her identity so fiercely taught me what it means to take up space without apology. She didn’t just raise me, she modelled resilience as a daily practice.
One Story I’d Love To Share About Her Is... Watching her create something out of very little. When we moved, when things were uncertain, when stability felt fragile, she never let it feel chaotic to us. She carried herself with composure. Even when resources were limited, there was always care, presentation, pride. Hair done. Home clean. Food thought of. That discipline, that refusal to let circumstances define you, shaped how I lead today.
If I Could Say One Thing To Her Now, It Would Be... Thank you for protecting my softness. The world can be hard. Especially for Black women. Especially for immigrant women. Somehow, she managed to raise me strong without making me hard. That balance is a gift I understand more deeply as I get older.
To Me, Womanhood Is... Self-authorship. It’s the ability to define yourself outside of expectation: culturally, socially, professionally. It’s softness and steel coexisting. It’s care without erasure. It’s ambition without apology. And for Black women in particular, womanhood is reclamation. Reclaiming rest, beauty, intellectual space, joy.
Douglas Stuart
Douglas is the Scottish American writer and designer, whose novel Shuggie Bain was Dua’s first-ever pick for the Service95 Book Club. You can watch their live Q&A at Hay Festival here. His latest novel, John of John, is out in May.
The Women Who Shaped Who I Am Is... My two high-school art teachers, Mrs Chesney and Mrs Macleod. The art room at school is a safe haven for any outsider, but for me it was also a doorway to a better life. I would not be the man I am today without the love and encouragement of these teachers.
One Story I’d Love To Share About Them Is... When I was 16, my mum died and I was made homeless. I didn’t know what to do. Everyone told me to drop out of school and get a job, any job, but I just knew I had to finish my education. Mrs Mac and Mrs C took me under their wing and they nurtured a talent I didn’t know I had. I was the first person in my family to finish school, and then the first to go on to uni, and it was all thanks to them. They dreamt a future for me that I couldn’t dream for myself. They saved my life.
If I Could Say One Thing To Them Now, It Would Be... Every time I go home to Glasgow, I see them and thank them for changing my life. Mrs Mac has a way of describing everything as “gorrrjiss” in that brilliant Glaswegian brogue of hers. When I’m older, I want to be a retired art teacher and wear mad specs and drink buckets of pinot and just generally be too fabulous to give a fuck.
To Me, Womanhood Is... I think I should leave definitions of womanhood to actual women! But I feel very lucky that we live in a time where many, if not yet all, women can be what they want to be. I can’t help but wish the same had been true in my mother and my grandmother’s day. I think if it had been, then my mother would still be alive.
Sasha Nathwani
Sasha is the Iranian Indian, British-born writer and director whose coming-of-age film Last Swim captured audiences when it was released in 2024 – so much so that we spent an afternoon with its lead, actor Deba Hekmat, to find out more here.
The Woman Who Shaped Who I Am Is... My Persian grandmother. We called her Maman Lousie. She was a headmistress and the undeniable matriarch of our Iranian family: five daughters, one son and a constellation of grandchildren. She was so elegant. When she entered a room, everyone noticed.
One Story I’d Love To Share About Her Is... That she was a cinephile with an encyclopaedic knowledge of world cinema. When she came to London in the ’80s and ’90s, she would stay with us for months at a time. In the evenings, she binged classic Hollywood films that had been embargoed in Iran after the 1979 revolution. That was my film school. I’d sit beside her on the Persian rug, sipping tea, chewing sweets, watching Gone with the Wind, Casablanca, The Godfather. She would pause the tape to explain context: the directors, the performances, the history. That’s where I first fell in love with film. Not in a classroom. In a living room, at her feet.
If I Could Say One Thing To Her Now, It Would Be...
مرسی مامان، برای همه چیز. مثل گل بالای سر من میمونی.
(Translated: Merci, Maman. Like a flower, you remain above my head.)
Clara Amfo
Clara is the British broadcaster and presenter known for hosting everything from BBC Radio 1’s Live Lounge and the BRIT Awards to major red-carpet events – such as the Wicked premiere, where we accompanied her for the day to find out more about her life and career for our Backstage With series.
The Woman Who Shaped Who I Am Is... Danielle Scott-Haughton, a dear friend of mine who passed away at the start of this year. When I think about who I am today as a friend and as a professional, she made me want to be better and for that I will be eternally grateful.
One Story I’d Love To Share About Her Is... There are so many to mention but Dani’s consistent showing up for me and her kindness to strangers was such a gift. She would send a mini paragraph of affirmation on a random Tuesday, just because. If you were her friend, no occasion was too small to celebrate. If you wrote a book, she’d read it; designed jewellery, she would buy it; got out of bed during a depression spell, she’d clap for you! She loved women, she loved being in community with us. Those actions and their influence will never leave me.
If I Could Say One Thing To Her Now, It Would Be... You are so loved and deeply missed. The impact you’ve had on every single person who met you with be with them forever.
To Me, Womanhood Is... About radical acceptance and celebration of who you are, in whatever season of your life. It’s about understanding that you don’t have to check boxes of prescribed life events in order to ‘complete’ womanhood.
Cherien Dabis
Cherien is a Palestinian-American filmmaker and actor whose recent film All That’s Left Of You had a profound impact on the Service95 team. It spans nearly 75 years and multiple generations of one Palestinian family and was released in the UK last month.
The Woman Who Shaped Who I Am Is... I was shaped by a constellation of women in my family, especially my mum and my sisters. But my mother has probably shaped me more than anyone else. She carried the weight of displacement and loss with a kind of fierce strength that I didn’t fully understand when I was younger. She rejected patriarchal tradition and empowered my sisters and me through her rebellious example. Watching her rebuild a life in a new country while holding onto our culture, language and sense of belonging showed me what resilience really looks like.
One Story I’d Love To Share About Her Is... I was 12 and struggling in ways I didn’t yet have the language to explain. I had become borderline anorexic and deeply withdrawn, though at the time I didn’t fully understand why. One afternoon, my mum took me out for a drive, hoping to lift my spirits. As we wandered through our small town in Ohio, we noticed that a new dance studio had just opened its doors. She encouraged me to take a ballet class. That small moment of motherly instinct changed everything. Dance became a lifeline. For the first time, I had a way to release all the feelings I had been carrying. Through dance, I discovered how deeply I needed creative expression. From there, an entire world opened up. It was the first time I understood that creativity was something I needed. It set me on the path towards the artistic life I live today.
If I Could Say One Thing To Her Now, It Would Be... How deeply grateful I am for the way she believed in me and encouraged my creative spirit from such a young age. At the time, it may have seemed like a small gesture – signing me up for that first dance class. But it opened up an entire world for me. It set my life on a path that continues to unfold today. I’m not sure she realises that.
To Me, Womanhood Is... About living in alignment with your own inner truth. It’s the ability to move through the world with wisdom, strength, vulnerability, and empathy – and the courage to define yourself beyond inherited roles while trusting your intuition.
Glenn Lutz
Glenn Lutz is a Chicago-based multidisciplinary artist and author living in Chicago who explores the emotional and spiritual architecture of identity. He guest-edited Service95’s Men’s Mental Health Issue here. A podcast with his sister, Kat (who you’ll learn about below) is also in the works...
The Woman Who Shaped Who I Am Is... My mum, Marlene, is the woman who most shaped me but my sister Kathleen has been there for me in so many ways these past few years. I truly have no clue where I would be without her.
One Story I’d Love To Share About Her Is... Kat and I have been through a lot of ups and downs, and our relationship has grown so much deeper over the last decade or so. This past year, I moved to Chicago from Hawaii and she welcomed me into her home with open arms and so much love. She breathes life and light into her family, her friendships and her work in a way that heals and actively shapes spaces for the better. Everyone who knows her sees her inner strength rooted in joy, and the way she shows up for her community as a leader and CEO is truly inspiring. I’m grateful in the realest sense of the word to have her as my sister. Our late-night convos, karaoke nights, family dinners and all the laughter we share have blessed my body, mind, and spirit during this season of growth and change in my life.
If I Could Say One Thing To Her Now, It Would Be... Let’s put a few more concerts on the calendar this year!
James Robinson
James is the Northern Irish founder of Craic magazine – an image-based publication offering a fresh perspective on Northern Irish identity; a literary love letter to home. You’ll find everything you need to know about capital city Belfast with his guide here.
The Woman Who Shaped Who I Am Is... My Nana, Parry (short for Parichehr – meaning ‘angel-faced’ in Farsi). She’s my granny on my mum's side, who was born and grew up in Tehran, Iran, and now lives in Northern Ireland.
One Story I’d Love To Share About Her Is... Growing up, she would make Persian food for me and my siblings whenever she would visit Northern Ireland to see my mum. I have the fondest memories of coming home from school to the home-cooked dinners she’d made – she’d spend hours early in the morning prepping and drying fresh herbs. Her special signature dish was gormeh sabzi, the most amazing stew, and she’d always serve it with rice with a crunchy base (called tahdig), which is still one of my favourite things in the whole world. On visits to Tehran as a child, I have nostalgic memories of her taking me to food markets, looking at the fresh fish – importantly, she’d always show me how to find the humour in anything and we’d laugh at the fish who had the biggest eyes!
If I Could Say One Thing To Her Now, It Would Be... How much I love her. I definitely owe her a visit soon – she is the sweetest woman in the world.
Absolutely
Absolutely is the Swiss Ghanaian British singer-songwriter and producer whose blend of R&B, pop and electronic results in music you will have on repeat. Her debut album Paracosm is out now – and keep an eye out for her Culture List, coming soon to Service95.com.
The Woman Who Shaped Who I Am Is... My grandma – my mum’s mum. And my mum! Both of them instilled so much faith into me. They embedded it into me since I was a child. Both have been so supportive and helped me to believe in myself in the times when I found it almost impossible to. They’re always there when I needed a hug.
One Story I’d Love To Share About Her Is... Every day, my grandma would call me and pray with me, which has been such an important part of my life and my days. It’s really helped me to become who I am today.
If I Could Say One Thing To Her Now, It Would Be... Love yooooou!
