In my late twenties, I find myself thinking a lot about mother and daughter relationships, particularly my own. Growing up, my mom was the disciplinarian in our house – and she could be harsh. I was often frightened of drawing her ire, but even more scared to share my secrets, my random thoughts, anything at all about my life with my mom.
Now that I’m older, I can see my mom more clearly. She was living in a patriarchal society that was very hard on women and girls. In turn, she was hard on me – not because she didn’t love me, but because she wanted to protect me from harm. For the first time in my life, I’m developing a friendship with my mum. She still wants to tell me off sometimes, but we’re becoming closer. And that is very precious to me.
Inspired by this journey, I asked some friends – all South Asian women – to share films about mothers and daughters that resonated deeply with them. Their choices open windows into complex relationships and invite us to feel more empathy for the women who’ve shaped us, and for those we’re still learning to understand...
Kannathil Muthamittal
Chosen by Charithra Chandran, Actor: “This Tamil movie, directed by the iconic Mani Ratnam, explores the relationship between a young girl Amudha (played by P. S. Keerthana) and her adoptive mother Indira (Revathi), as the girl yearns to know her biological mother. The film touches so beautifully on the love and sacrifices that mothers make for their daughters and in different contexts how this love and sacrifice can play out. Ultimately, motherhood is a journey of difficult, often heartbreaking choices – whether by holding on with unwavering love or letting go for the child’s future.”
Ladybird
Chosen by Yaasmeen Sanzar, Editorial Assistant at Atria Books: “A tender yet candid portrait of how mothers and daughters mirror and push against each other, shaping a bond threaded with both love and resentment. It captures how a mother (Laurie Metcalf) – once a girl with her own hopes and dreams – sees in her daughter (Saoirse Ronan) all the possibilities that may still come true for her. And because, in the end, they are reflections of one another – every clash, every lingering ache, and every unfulfilled dream becomes part of a shared story neither one can ever fully escape, but one both are endlessly shaped by.”
Autumn Sonata
Chosen by Nida Manzoor, Screenwriter, Director & Creator of We Are Lady Parts: “Few films dare to wade as deep into the quiet ache between mothers and daughters as Autumn Sonata. It’s a heartbreaking, visceral, intimate story which follows a concert pianist (Ingrid Bergman) mother and her estranged daughter (Liv Ullmann) peeling back years of neglect, resentment, and longing in just a few scenes. The performances are stunning and the plot, though simple, is full of intricate detail. Written and directed by the master Ingmar Bergman, this film is one of my favourites when it comes to exploring the trials of motherhood. Gripping, unrelenting and gorgeously put together.”
Real Women Have Curves
Chosen by Poorna Jagannathan, Actor: “I saw the play on Broadway this summer, then watched the movie for the first time. It’s an incredible story of crafting your own path while carrying your parents’ dreams and fears. As an immigrant, this story cut so close to the bone – especially in today’s climate.”
Bend It Like Beckham
Chosen by Sahaj Kaur Kohli, founder of Brown Girl Therapy: “A classic. This story – about a British-Indian girl (Parminder Nagra) secretly chasing her dream of playing football while navigating her traditional Punjabi mother’s (Anupam Kher) expectations – highlights the generational and cultural tensions between a daughter who dreams beyond tradition, and a mother who fears what’s at stake if she strays too far. As a daughter of immigrants (and a therapist who works with children of immigrants), I deeply relate to the tug-of-war between honouring family expectations and carving out my own path.”
Terms Of Endearment
Chosen by Sharmeen Obaid Chinoy, Academy Award-Winning Director: “Directed by James L. Brooks and starring Shirley MacLaine, Debra Winger, and Jack Nicholson, Terms of Endearment is worth watching together because it doesn’t sugarcoat the mother-daughter dynamic – it shows the sharp words, the meddling, the fierce loyalty, and the love that survives everything, as it follows a fiercely devoted mother and her daughter through 30 years of messy life. Sharing it as a pair feels like holding up a mirror: messy, funny, painful, and so very true!”
English Vinglish
Chosen by Bhumika Regmi, digital director, Malala Fund: “On the surface, it’s a charming, funny film about a Marathi woman secretly learning English to keep up with her husband and daughter as she strives to find her own voice and confidence. But the film also reveals something deeper: how patriarchal attitudes ripple through households, with men’s treatment of their wives shaping children’s perceptions and empathy toward their mothers – a powerful reminder of the silent bonds and struggles that define many mother-daughter relationships.”
The Namesake
Chosen by Dr. Maya Shankar, Cognitive Scientist & Host of A Slight Change of Plans: “Watching this film which follows Gogol, a first-generation American navigating his dual identity while uncovering his parents’ sacrifices and struggles gave me such valuable insight into my mum’s past, which involved immigrating from India to the US at age 21 after meeting her new husband just a few weeks prior. It was the first time I really felt what she experienced – the acute loneliness and the clashing of two cultures, for example – and it bridged an important empathy gap between us.”
Kal Ho Naa Ho
Chosen by Snigdha Sur, Founder & CEO of The Juggernaut: “There’s a special place in my heart for films where mothers and daughters face the world together, urging each other to dream bigger. Kal Ho Naa Ho follows single mother Jennifer (the marvellous Jaya Bhaduri), who must make her business work, and her daughter Naina (Preity Zinta), an MBA student who sees life as dull and grey. Naina doesn’t understand why her mother doesn’t “stand up” for herself, until she realizes Jennifer’s resilience is of a quieter, deeper kind.”
Mamma Mia!
Chosen by Natasha Bardin-Patel, Influencer: “The ABBA songs feel so nostalgic to me (my mum would always put them on at home throughout my childhood). The Greek islands are such a dreamy setting, and Donna (Meryl Streep) and Sophie’s (Amanda Seyfried) mother-daugther bond has it all: closeness, arguments, laughter, and that unspoken like-mindedness. It’s fun, warm and the perfect comfort watch.”
