Like many introverts, my idea of a dream date would be sitting in silence together, reading a book. So when I heard about silent book clubs, where avid readers come together to do exactly that, my first thought was: I’ve found my people.
Melbourne’s Book Doof is based on “being social in silence” – events built on the premise of forming community through books. A win for introverts who seek genuine connection, without the small talk. Intrigued by the idea, I went along one Sunday to see what the fuss was about.
What first hit me as I arrived at East Brunswick bar Mr Wilkinson was the sound – or lack thereof, which felt at odds with the usual bustle of the place. After I weaved my way past readers to reach the bar and (quietly) order a drink, I set myself up in a snug corner, by a group of friendly-looking women already locked into their books.
The format of a silent reading event is straightforward: first, you read (usually for two or so hours). Next, you’re encouraged to chat, safe in the knowledge that if any awkward silences arise, you can ask about one another’s reading habits. This kind of setting can form authentic bonds, explains founder Grant Richard Krupp: “Reading is generally considered a solo experience, but doing it as a collective gives it an intimacy that you rarely get from strangers.”
I can attest to this feeling. Throughout the reading period, my neighbour and I traded whispers about our bookmarks (hers was from a Harry Styles Love On Tour concert, mine quoted one of my favourite romantasy books). So when the time came for conversation, we already felt a budding camaraderie. Likewise with the women around me – we traded stories about our chosen reads, laughing about the fact I had to unexpectedly read a smutty scene in a room of strangers. I left with a reminder of how good it feels to carve out several hours to immerse yourself in a book, and a new connection that led to a date the following week.
While Book Doof feels like a precious secret among Melbourne’s introvert community, it’s not the only of its kind. Silent reading events have become an unexpected global phenomenon. Nearby, you’ll find Reading Party Melbourne, while Reading Rhythms hosts gatherings across the world, with New York, Florence and Toronto among its upcoming events. Zurich-based Silent Reading Rave has celebrated success all over Switzerland, with parties in museums, parks and even farms. And Silent Book Club now has a presence in more than 60 countries worldwide, hosting online and in-person events everywhere from Japan and Brazil to the UK.
What is it about reading alone, together, that has such widespread appeal? The goal for many silent reading party founders is to allow people (particularly introverts) to feel seen – all those I speak to stress that their events are spaces where everyone is welcome. Reading has long been considered a solitary pursuit, but these groups are proving it can be a social one, too.
“With each event, my circle of friends expands a little bit, my bookshelves get a bit fuller and my dinner parties gain one or two new faces” – Alex, Melbourne
For Ben Bradbury, one of the Reading Rhythms’ founders, the aim is to “help people be a bit less lonely and find belonging through reading”, particularly in the age of social media and a growing loneliness epidemic. Fabian Weingartner, co-president of Silent Reading Rave, agrees that this is an opportunity to “finally put the phone away” for a couple of hours. “There’s been a big movement to disconnect from social media in recent years, and events like ours can help you do that,” he says.
It’s working: the proof is in the fellow attendees I (eventually) spoke to. “The beauty of Book Doof is that it’s a low-stakes hangout with a unique premise,” says Alex, 28, who is a repeat visitor. “With each Book Doof event, my circle of friends expands, my bookshelves get fuller and my dinner parties gain one or two new faces.” Chali, 29, says she couldn’t wait to attend the next event (this was her first), and that connecting with others felt “a lot more authentic and natural this way”.
These events serve as a reminder of why reading is worth making time for: a premise on which Sonja Rose and Samara Sequeira started Reading Party Melbourne. The pair are passionate about making their events a safe space for all. “Reading is something almost anyone can access; our events bring together people from different backgrounds and help them to step outside their echo chambers,” says Sonja.
Extroverts are, of course, welcome at silent book events, but the structure is designed with introversion in mind. Some, like Silent Book Club, flip the order I experienced at Book Doof and hold the talking portion at the beginning for 30 minutes, giving what co-founder Guinevere de la Mare calls “an out” for introverts who are ready to stop talking and start reading. “That comes as a huge relief for folks like me, who don’t particularly like small talk,” she says. At other events, you’ll find conversation cards or prompts on hand to encourage people out of their shells.
As my experience proved, these connections can even turn romantic. While this is not the intention, it can be a happy byproduct of bringing people together around a shared love of reading. Nearly every founder had anecdotes of more-than-platonic bonds forming at events. Co-founder Ben met his now-partner at an early Reading Rhythms session. “More than a few of our members have met their partners at Silent Book Club,” Guinevere adds. “Recently, a couple who met through their SBC chapter in Genoa, Italy, tagged us in their wedding photos on Instagram.”
Anything can happen at a silent reading event – that’s the magic of them. I walked away with a new friend, increased confidence and a renewed love for reading. Turns out introverts can easily make new connections – you just have to know where to go.
