Sex is fun. Scrolling endlessly for a vibrator that doesn’t sound like a pneumatic drill or come in a colour that looks like toxic slime? Not so fun.
Type ‘sex toy’ into your search bar and you’re guaranteed to go from ‘in the mood’ to ‘overwhelmed’ in a matter of milliseconds. The world of tools, toys and aids to help us maximise the feel-good factor of our sex lives is ballooning, with the industry on track to double its worth in the next 10 years and everyone from Dakota Johnson to Harry Styles getting in on the act.
It’s a glorious sign that more of us are putting pleasure first, but this big wide world doesn’t come with a handy map. This can make it tricky to navigate, especially if you’re a beginner in uncharted waters who just wants a quality, safe-to-use sex toy that gets you off in exactly the way you like.
So, where do you start? Here’s everything you need to know...
Start With Your Favourite Sensations
Your perfect match is out there, we promise, but there are a few things to consider before you add to basket. Do you want internal or external stimulation? High or low-frequency vibration? Air suction or flicking motions? What about shape, size and skin-safe materials? Avril Louise Clarke, clinical sexologist and intimacy co-ordinator, says it’s normal not to have all the answers straight away, but it is worth thinking about the sensations you respond to most. “Your preferences can take a while to figure out, and of course they may change over time. Also, what is enjoyable during partnered sex may differ when you’re going at it solo,” she says.
For Ruby Rare, sex educator and author of Sex Ed: A Guide For Adults, shopping for toys forces you to focus on what feels good, an act of self-love in itself. “I see sex toys as tools to enhance your pleasure and get you thinking and feeling a bit more creatively,” she says. “They are so fun, they can be just for you, and there are a lot of amazing things out there that provide sensations that a human body simply cannot mimic. I think that’s really cool.”
Consider Where You Like To Be Touched
Ruby suggests starting with (you guessed it) some alone time. “Think about parts of your body that feel sensitive, and what you could add to enhance those feelings. Do you want to stimulate the outer vulva and clitoral hood, or would you enjoy something insertable to stimulate the clitoris from the inside? Do you want something that provides anal stimulation? Or a sensory deprivation type toy, such as eye masks or a gag? Be very specific and intentional about buying something you think will feel good for you, not whatever the latest trend or release might be,” she says.
Don’t Skimp On Pleasure
Ruby also makes a crucial point; you can’t try before you buy when it comes to intimate toys, which could understandably make you hesitant to splash out on a complete unknown. “If you’re brand new to toys, you might want to buy a multipurpose item like a three-in-one vibrator and see what setting you like the most. Whatever you choose, I would recommend spending as much money as your price point allows; this is your body, and you really don’t want to be messing around with something that could be low quality,” she says. “Look for things made with medical grade silicone or borosilicate glass, and buy from reputable companies. My favourite is Sh!, one of the first sex shops in the UK run by queer women. Their offering is really high quality and well-curated.”
Feeling inspired? Then let us be your guide into the innovative world of sexual pleasure. Whether you’re after a discreet mini vibe or want to try some suction, these are the eight best sex toys on the market, road-tested and recommended by the experts...
Eight Expert-Recommended Sex Toys & Accessories To Try Now
Best For First Timers: Je Joue ILY Pebble
“Rather than a bullet vibrator, I recommend a ‘pebble’ shaped vibe as a great first-time toy,” says Ruby. “They provide a similar sensation with a slightly more nuanced vibration (more of a low rumble than a high-pitched buzz).” £30, Sh!
Best For Hands-Free Fun: Eva Wearable Vibrator
“This wearable toy, with its set of wings that help it fit snugly in place within the outer lips of the vulva, vibrates around the clitoris leaving space for you to enjoy penetrative sex if you’re after some dual stimulation,” says Avril. £79, Dame
Best If You’re Suction-Curious: Dual-End Flutter Toy
“I really like this as a first time suction toy; it’s not too expensive so you can see if suction is something you’re into,” says Ruby. “Plus there’s the bonus of the base of the toy being insertable, so it’s a cheeky two-for-one.” £49, Sh!
Best For Deep Vibrations: Doxy Wand Massager
“Expensive, but worth it,” says Ruby. “In my opinion, this is the best wand-style toy on the market, and I like this OG model more than newer models because the softer head provides a wider base for vibration.” £100, Sh!
Best For Accessibility: Fin Finger Vibrator
“This small vibrating toy is ideal for stimulation of the vagina and penis. Great for partnered or group action, it fits comfortably between your fingers, making it more user-friendly if the mobility of your hands is limited,” says Avril. £37, Dame
Best For Internal Stimulation: Pure Wand
“If you’re feeling adventurous, this in my humble opinion is the coolest sex toy I’ve ever come across,” says Ruby. “It’s worth every penny for those of you who enjoy internal G-spot or prostate stimulation. The weight of the steel and curve of this toy create pleasure that is legitimately unmatched. Feel free to send me flowers to thank me for introducing you to this wonder...” £135, Njoy
Best For Anal Play: Power Gem Crystal Butt Plug
“A real beginner-friendly butt plug if you’re curious to try anal play,” says Ruby. “Also, I just love these ones that have a gem at the end – how absolutely precious.” £39, Sh!
Best For... Just About Everything: Yes WB Organic Lubricant
“This is my favourite lube,” says Ruby. “PH-balanced to care for your vaginal health and it doesn’t go tacky, which is a lube pet-peeve of mine. Investing in a decent lube is honestly the best thing you can do to up your sexual pleasure.” £13, Sh!
