5 Questions To Ask On A Date, By Esther Perel 

First dates. We’ve all been there. You’re having a nice enough time getting to know someone, asking all the usual date questions: about their job, their family, their hobbies. But how can you use this time to really get to know them? What questions can you ask on a date to genuinely assess your compatibility?

Well, when it comes to dating advice, some people go to their friends, others, family – personally, we’d suggest asking the ultimate professional, Esther Perel. Nobody can tell you this better than Dua herself, after she invited the psychotherapist and bestselling author onto our podcast, Dua Lipa: At Your Service, for a conversation on all things sex, love and dating – from how to scope out someone you’re seeing to keeping curiosity alive in a long-term partnership –  and much more.

Esther is well-placed to give romantic advice. Her debut book, Mating In Captivity, explores sex in committed relationships, while her follow-up, The State Of Affairs, looks at infidelity – both are New York Times bestsellers. Then, there’s her hit podcast, Where Should We Begin? in which Esther looks at the dynamics of real couples and their stories. And her Instagram feed provides regular thoughts and tips for those with concerns in the love department.

Speaking of advice, throughout her conversation with Dua, Esther offers something for everyone – whether you’ve never been in a relationship, are in a long-term partnership, or fall somewhere in between. And for those currently looking for a partner, Esther has shared five questions to ask someone you’ve just started dating.

“You will see they’re not about interests and activities,” she says. “They are really about getting a sense of the person in their relationships.” Happy dating, all.

1. What’s a risk that you took that changed your life?
2. If you could whisper something in the ears of your younger self, what would it be?
3. What’s one message that you received about love or relationships that has stood on the forefront for you?
4. What’s the most generous thing you’ve ever done?
5. What’s the most generous thing somebody has ever done for you?

For more advice and insights from Esther, listen to her full conversation with Dua – ‘Is Your Relationship Normal?’ for Dua Lipa: At Your Service here