Looking for online dating tips? You’re not alone. For anyone of us who have tried to navigate the complex world of online dating – from matchmaking websites to ‘the apps’ – it’s safe to say that it’s a lot. From curating the ‘perfect’ profile to sifting through potential candidates to find a match, it can feel overwhelming, stressful and even alienating at times. Fortunately, there is a way around this – and it’s all about changing your mindset.
“I am hearing from singles that they do want to use dating apps but they are feeling really lost with how to navigate them,” says dating coach and relationship expert Sarah Louise Ryan. “To simplify online dating I would recommend to be thorough about who you are, what you are looking for and the kind of mindset you have about dating.”
So it’s about quality, rather than quantity – instead of focusing on the number of matches you’re getting, make sure that you’re looking to attract the right kind of person for you. “Share more about yourself, without compromising on safety. You’ll get less matches but higher quality of singles on the other side of each yes swipe. When doing this, you are more likely to attract the right kind of person for you,” adds Ryan.
Here, Ryan shares her top 5 online dating tips for approaching the experience in the right way...
1. Remember that you aren’t for everyone and not everyone is for you. If you have a date or a chat with someone that doesn’t materialise into more than that then don’t let it set you back. Accept that this wasn’t your door to open and just keep going.
2. Get offline quickly. Don’t sit creating pseudo-relationships, chatting with people for weeks. You will only create stories in your mind about how they are and how a relationship with them might be. When you meet someone in person they show you who they truly are – you will know if you feel connected to that or not.
3. Share what you’re looking for in your profile – your passions, interests and hobbies and what you do want in dating and an ideal match. Do it positively and extensively, you’ll then attract more highly aligned potentials.
4. Limit your usage of apps so you don’t feel like you’re living your life online. Set a timer for your dating app of choice and revisit it tomorrow when you hit your limit.
5. Don’t pass over your power to choose. Try not to keep the focus on how you are received. Instead, focus more on how you are receiving the person in front of you. When you focus your attention on how much they might like you, the lines get blurry and you may miss signs about how right or wrong they are for you. Date intentionally – you’re worthy of incredible connection but be present to check in on that connection every step of the way.
