Has an elderly relative just told you how fast you’ve grown up – again – even though you’re at the age where you’re doing your own tax returns? Is there a child wailing somewhere among the wrapping paper? Are you overwhelmed by the sheer quantity of pigs-in-blankets?
A family festive gathering tends to go one of two ways: a twinkly, heartwarming affair, full of festive cheer, or a gravy-scented, relative-heavy ordeal which is harder to swallow than overcooked turkey. Whichever way your December sways, we’ve got the perfect read for when it all gets a bit much. Because there are lots of ways to celebrate this season, and one of those can be escaping into a good book.
Let the guest bathroom whisk you to faraway lands, remind you of childhood nostalgia, or simply acquaint you with families far more dysfunctional than your own. And relax... (for now, anyway!)
The One Not To Read At The Table...
Christmas With Dull People by Saki
The four fables in this slim collection are guaranteed to cause a stir at dinner. Casting his sardonic eye over the most dreary and diabolical moments of the festive season, Saki skewers dull relatives, forced merriment, unwanted gifts, and the penning of thank-yous. Read it pointedly in front of others or, perhaps more wisely, retreat to the bathroom to avoid causing offence.
The Dysfunctional Family That Will Make You Appreciate Yours...
We Are All Completely Beside Ourselves by Karen Joy Fowler
The brilliantly titled We Are All Completely Beside Ourselves tells the story of Rosemary’s unconventional family. When Rosemary is five years old, her sister, Fern, disappears. No one speaks of it again. Eventually, Rosemary’s brother leaves, too. The book follows her as she comes of an age where she can no longer ignore the choices made by her family and the secrets that have shaped her life. It’s an absolute masterclass in twist writing and raises all manner of moral conundrums (but I won’t give anything else away). Just know that by the time you turn the final page, you’ll be completely beside yourself – and maybe even appreciating your own, slightly more normal, family on the other side of the bathroom door.
The True Escape Into Fantasy...
Alchemised by SenLinYu
If you’re growing weary of endless Harry Potter reruns on TV but still need some fantasy escapism, pick up SenLinYu’s Alchemised. This mighty tome began its life as Hermione and Draco fanfiction, which SenLinYu then stripped of all references to the wizarding world and placed in its own original magical setting. It’s an impressive 1,040 pages long, more than enough to keep you totally engrossed on the 25th – and well beyond.
The Christmas More Surreal Than What’s Going On In The Other Room...
Winter by Ali Smith
The second in Smith’s exceptional seasonal quartet, Winter gathers together four people in a house for a Christmas they’re unlikely to forget. The family consists of the matriarch Sophie and her sister Iris, Sophie’s son Art, and his faux-girlfriend ‘Charlotte’ (who is actually called Lux, and has been paid to pose as Charlotte). As the holiday unfolds, Ali Smith blends the hyper-realism of a tense family gathering with surreal, almost gothic visions. Will they become fractured by the intruder, or will she be the one to draw them together?
The Nostalgic Festive Tale ...
A Child’s Christmas In Wales by Dylan Thomas
Enduring, charming and nostalgic, A Child’s Christmas In Wales will always be a festive favourite. Welsh poet Dylan Thomas captures the magic of the season through the viewpoint of the author as a young boy, complete with snowy streets, childish mischief and family traditions. It’s an adorably bitesize book and perfect for hiding away and curling up with. Crackling fire: necessary.
