So you’re thinking about having people over. It’s that sparkly, social time of year, and you’re itching to be shoulder to shoulder with your favourite people, Montepulciano flowing and conversations buzzing. There’s nothing like finally wrangling 10 calendars, then watching everyone trickle out later – bonds reinforced, stomach full and crumb-strewn plates proof of a night well spent. There’s an alchemy to a good get-together, and the best ones leave you glowing in that feeling.
But forget the old stuffy ‘dos and don’ts’ – today, hosting is about far more than perfect canapés. It’s about stepping out of the daily noise to connect IRL, something we’re all realising just how much we need this year. It’s about expressing yourself through a cocktail’s flavour, a flower-laden table and the joy you spark for the people you love.
That said, the truth we forget in those last-minute supermarket panics is this: we’re all great hosts when we lean into what feels fun. Maybe you love simmering sauces for hours and trawling markets for the perfect sprigs of winter jasmine; maybe you’re all about the playlist and a guest list that just works. Whatever your style, ‘tis the season to let it shine – because when the world feels divided and the nights draw in, gathering around a table is the best way to spend our time.
Wondering where to start? We’ve got you. We tapped the coolest, most creative minds to share their go-to hosting tricks – from restaurateurs and art curators to event planners and the woman behind New York’s most iconic salons. Consider their advice your official guide to pulling off a very (very) good time.
Setting The Scene
Matchmake your guests (and read up on them)
Creating social magic starts long before you open the door; it’s about the people you invite and the thought you put into making them feel part of a cohesive group. “A guestlist is like writing a recipe: who will mix well, who should meet and why?” says Susan MacTavish Best, DJ, founder of POSTHOC Salons and a host of legendary repute, known for creating meaningful connections at her book-lined New York apartment. “I try to think about that matchmaking in advance – what will the filmmaker and the boxer talk about, why would the restaurant owner and the roboticist get on – and then push them together with a one-liner.” If you’re inviting people you haven’t seen in a while, Susan also recommends reading up on them. “Not in a creepy way, but I like to check their Instagram so I can show I’m genuinely interested in them and ask specific questions about what’s going on in their lives.”
Set a table that celebrates the season
Pien Wekking, the Dutch cookbook author and founder of Pien’s Tables, may well be the queen of the tablescape. In her view, the chicest tables are all natural – think piles of grapes, gourds or citrus fruits that remind you of a renaissance still life. “There are so many props you can buy online but you may not use them again, and what if you’ve just decided to host a dinner tomorrow? Fruits and veggies can be picked up so easily,” she says. “I host friends almost every weekend, and recently I did an eggplant-purple table with browns and light pinks in the napkins and plates, which is such a cool twist on winter colours. I stuck tapered candles into the top of some pomegranates I picked up that day, tore some open to scatter around, then stuck dried orange slices to some vintage candleholders. I also never get tired of tying ribbon around loaves of bread; it’s festive and pretty.”
Use fabric to elevate your space
If full-blown decorations aren’t your thing, sometimes all it takes to transform a space is a few yards of fabric, according to Maria Georgiou. One half of Mam Sham, a creative production company known for their fun aesthetics, Maria and her best friend Rhiannon Butler know how to conjure a specific mood on a budget. “We’ll often go to an industrial wholesaler to get a few rolls of an interesting fabric and play around with it,” says Maria. “Once, we draped this recycled denim over tables and furniture and it gave the event a really cool, tactile energy. It’s a cheap way to switch up the vibe.”
Consider the power of purpose
Samantha Wolfson started hosting women she met everywhere from work to the gym when she first moved from the States to Amsterdam. It led to & The Table, a global supper club known for its themed dinners. “A theme doesn’t have to be in your face, it can just be a thread through the evening that gives your guests some focus,” she says. “I’ve hosted dinners where I’ve told everyone ‘I’m having six of you over this weekend because we’re all childfree by choice and I think it would be cool to discuss that with like-minded women’ or ‘this is a group who’ve all relocated and are far from home’. I believe curation is the key to community, and having a purpose allows for in-depth connection. It lets you get straight into those questions that feel like warm hugs, not just handshakes.”
The Welcome
Serve snacks on arrival
We all know that moment: you arrive and your host is still chopping. Timings are tough so art historian and curator Faridah Folawiyo swears by ready-to-go snack platters. “Growing up in Nigeria people are always in and out of your house, and being a good host is kind of your social capital. You arriving at mine and having to wait for food or drinks? That is my worst nightmare,” she says. “I am a big fan of an aperitivo situation, and the other day I served bowls of taralli, halal cold cuts, a cheese plate and stacks of za’atar crackers. Snacks are very important; they keep you and the guests chilled until it’s really time to eat.”
Enlist some unofficial co-hosts
Hosting big parties is normal for Susan MacTavish Best, and her rule is simple: ask for help. “I’m hosting a salon this weekend and there’s someone coming who hasn’t met anyone before, so last night I texted my good friend and said ‘Hey, can you make sure you greet this guy when he comes in, get him a drink, introduce him to someone’,” she says “Having one or two people who can act as your co-hosts not only makes them feel important, it also makes you more relaxed and happy.”
Set up a cocktail station
Pien Wekking notes that the start of any gathering can be the most stressful – that frantic whirl from front door to living room to kitchen taking drink orders. “Fill the sink with ice and a few bottles of (say) tequila, vodka, soda, something non-alcoholic,” she says. “Put some pretty coupes and garnishes next to it, and a handwritten note suggesting a cocktail to make with it all – but very much encouraging people to get creative. It frees up your time, but also gives people something interactive to start chatting over.”
Leave the oven open
Smells can really set the tone, so something cosy like a spice-laced candle or room spray can make people feel instantly welcome. Better still says Ben Lippett, chef and bestselling author of How I Cook, give them a sensory sneak preview. “I cooked a whole Christmassy spread last weekend, and when I took the meat and vegetables out of the oven I purposefully left the oven door open so that lovely, warming smell went all through the house,” he says. “It gets people excited and I’m sure it makes the food taste more delicious.”
The Main Event
Don’t worry about a dinner table
“Probably because I live in New York City, I get asked a lot what people should do if they don’t have a dinner table,” says Katherine Lewin, founder of beloved party shop Big Night and author of its namesake book. “A dinner party does not actually mean that you have to serve ‘dinner’ (an assortment of amazing snacks can be dinner), nor does it mean that you have to serve it at a proper dinner table. Pillows around a coffee table, stools in the kitchen and cosy little windowseat corners can all come together to create a really sweet party setting.”
Slow cook something surprising
“Time is the greatest gift you can give people and I do believe good cooking takes time, but that doesn’t mean it has to be complicated,” Ben Lippett says. “If you’re feeding 10 people, do not try to cook 10 separate pieces of fish – you are going to go down! Slow cooking is your best mate. It’s an un-fuck-up-able, warming way to eat and you can start two days in advance if you want.” He recommends one-pot dishes that can be put in the oven and forgotten about for a few hours, but with a twist to make them feel special. “I like to go to the fishmongers and get some fresh squid, then make a bolognese with it. It sounds odd at first but it’s really luxurious and feels quite chef-y for your guests.” (You can find Ben’s full recipe in his book, How I Cook.)
Add a little theatre
Ashley Yun is the co-founder of new food mag Toothsome, but she has a long and storied history of putting on elaborate dinner parties. “I used to be prepping intricate meals for three days, and it took trial and error to realise that, actually, people can be just as impressed with something easy,” she says. “One dish I served recently that went down well was torched mackerel. Granted, you have to have a kitchen blowtorch, but all you need to do ahead of time is make some rice and veggies or a salad to put on the table, then cure the mackerel in a little salt and sugar. When you’re ready to serve you can flame it for a few seconds in the corner of the room and put it straight on people’s plates. It’s very simple but feels impressive and theatrical.”
Split the night into three acts
Some love to linger, but Susan MacTavish Best isn’t into all-night table sitting. At any event she hosts, there are always at least three elements to keep things moving. “Salons are my thing because they offer opt-in connection and a bit of stimulation, but there’s not the discomfort of ‘oh God I’m going to turn up on my own and be sat next to this one stranger all night’,” she says. “I love to plan a short discussion, like interviewing someone I know with an interesting or topical job for 20 minutes, and it’s also really nice to have someone perform some music. And no matter what, we’re ending with a dance party; there will be DJing, there will be electronic music, people can get loose.”
Connection & Conversation
Ask ‘the carb question’
Ashley Yun has always felt that food is a shortcut to intimacy. “I often find the best way to get people to open up is to ask them directly about what they’re eating: what does it make them think of? Next thing you know you’re hearing about someone’s childhood memories and their whole worldview,” she says. “There is one question I always throw out to the group when conversation flags. If you could only eat two of the following foods for the rest of your life, would you choose rice, potatoes, noodles or bread? It’s a little silly but it always sparks this passionate debate. People have opinions.”
Create bespoke conversation cards
Conversation cards can be a great way to encourage guests to go beyond the surface. Samantha Wolfson likes to take this one step further, drawing up a seating plan based on commonalities between her guests and putting a personalised, handwritten prompt on each plate. “I’ll give everyone prompts for the people on either side of them. It could be ‘you both like kitesurfing’ or it could be ‘your lives have both been touched by this very specific kind of pain’ and it’s up to them whether they want to go there or not, but I find people always do.”
Use furniture to forge connection
Through transforming cold, clinical art galleries into colourful celebrations of Black women artists where everyone feels welcome, Faridah Folawiyo has learned how thoughtful little touches can change the way people interact. “One thing I tend to do at exhibitions is create a homey little corner with lots of low chairs, cushions, carpets and coffee table books scattered across the floor,” she says. “It immediately communicates to people ‘you are welcome to hang out here as long as you like’, and all the softness and textures create this cocoon where people can really get into it and have heads-together conversations, too.”
Get your guests out of their heads
Jasmine Douglas is the brains behind Babes On Waves, a networking collective for women of colour. She splits her time between London, Bangkok and New York and has lots of disparate friend groups, so she’s thoughtful about how to bring them together. “As a socially anxious and introverted person, my first question when I’m hosting anything is, how do I get people out of their heads? That could look like an obscure board game that requires everyone’s focus, or hosting an event in a sauna so we’re all sweating too much to be self-conscious,” she says. “For my last birthday I hosted a Spelling Bee, where I split my friends into teams with people they didn’t know and had them compete. I find giving strangers a common enemy makes them fast friends,” she laughs.
The Little Extras
Send out a B.Y.O prompt
Katherine Lewin is big on small touches that inject a sense of fun into an evening, and one way to do that is offering an idea of what guests should bring when you invite them – but keep it loose. “It’s always the little details that I (and I think most people) remember,” she says. “Like the New Year’s Eve party when the only thing we asked people to bring was ‘something sparkling’ and the whole night felt extra, well, sparkly.” Be it a champagne, a kombucha or a favourite sequinned skirt, it gives people a chance to be creative without too much pressure.
Queue up the background music
Having something lowkey playing at the right volume as guests arrive is important, says Ben Lippett, because it naturally creates a relaxed and convivial mood. “It’s nice to consider how you want the night to sound, and I like putting something more obscure on because introducing your friends to something new – be it a song or an ingredient – is a lovely way to make an evening memorable. My wife and I are massive music fans and we’ve been putting on this Norwegian band called Smerz a lot. I also went to someone’s house for a big Italian meal once and they’d gone on Spotify and found a playlist called ‘Italian Restaurant Music’ which was sort of joyfully corny. It made people laugh.”
Serve a signature drink
One way to make an impression without a boatload of effort is to offer a signature cocktail. Pien Wekking suggests something light (you want people to have stamina) that you can premix in big, icy jugs, such as a kumquat spritz. The prep includes caramelising kumquats, which you can find in most supermarkets or substitute with tangerines, with granulated sugar on the stove for 20-30 minutes, then allow them to cool in their syrup. “You then mix your fruit with sparkling water, sparkling wine and a shot of elderflower liqueur and add a sprig of mint. It’s fresh, sparkling and looks lovely in a wine glass,” says Pien.
Give your guests a trinket
“There’s a corkboard in my house full of little keepsakes like name tags I got at weddings, and nothing makes me happier,” says Maria Georgiou. “They don’t have to be fancy, but little trinkets or things your guests can keep, especially if they’re personalised, get everyone so excited. At Mam Sham we once did a Space Cowboy themed event where we just took a picture of everyone from their socials and made little hand-illustrated ‘wanted’ posters for their place settings, and people still talk about them. Those little details are a rare, tangible memory in a world where most of our memories are digital now.”
Parting Gifts
End with high energy
Even if the bulk of the eating ended hours ago, chef Imad Al Arnab of Imad’s Syrian Kitchen believes good hospitality always ends on a sugary note. “I like to end an evening with a light dessert like muhalabiya [a creamy milk pudding] or a small piece of kunafa [angel hair pasta layered with cream and soaked in syrup].” Paired with a strong Arabic coffee, it’s the perfect way to give people the energy they need for a lively finish. “A bit of music or dabke [an energetic circle dance that gets everyone up on their feet] makes the end of the night even better,” says Imad.
Debrief over a nightcap
If your party is more debates than dance-offs, Ashley Yun has cracked the code to rounding off the night well. “I don’t like to cut the party short if the energy is flowing, but you do need to know when to wrap it up if people are just lingering and you’re tired,” she says. “I like to offer a digestif like a little glass of Calvados brandy and brew a pot of herbal tea. It’s a gentle signal that the night is coming to a close, but it gives everyone a moment to tie up conversations and all leave together without wondering if they’re missing anything.”
Offer adult party bags
The only thing better than feeding people something delicious? Giving them a lovingly packed lunchbox to take home, without them even having to ask. “I am always cooking so much, but it’s intentional, because I love to send people home with leftovers,” says Ben Lippett. “It’s common that people are too full from the main to want dessert right away, so let them take a slice of tarte tatin or whatever, too. It’s so nice to have something that reminds you the next day of the great time you had before, and it’s so nice not to have to cook when your head hurts a bit.”
Encourage follow-ups
Chances are you met someone you really clicked with at a dinner party once, then kicked yourself that you never saw them again. Most of us are looking for more meaningful connections, but it can feel a bit daunting to ask for someone’s number or socials – which is why Jasmine Douglas thinks being a good host means facilitating new bonds between your friends. “To me, the sign of a successful get-together is my people becoming each other’s people,” she says. “I think it’s really special to encourage follow-ups between guests you can see having fun together, and let those relationships thrive outside of you.”
