What happens when you gather four leading sex experts in a room and give them free reign to discuss the topic of libido? The result was Service95’s fist-ever in-person event: Get In The Mood, in collaboration with sexual wellness brand Hanx.
Hosted by Service95 Managing Director Stella Fabinyi and held at London’s Mama Shelter, Get In The Mood was a panel discussion featuring sex educator and podcaster Emm, AKA Emma-Kirsty Fraser; queer and neurodivergent sex educator and student nurse Cassie Rattray (also founder of sex-positive platform Radical Love); filmmaker, journalist and women’s health advocate Jasmina Saleh and HANX co-founder and gynaecologist, Dr Sarah Welsh.
Together, they unravelled the complexities of libido, exploring the many reasons we might not be feeling it, debunking societal ‘norms’ and myths and sharing their personal tips and tools to enhance your sex life. As one attendee put it, “It was like being in a room with your closest friends having the best conversation about sex – only they’re experts who can give you really useful advice.”
They answered audience questions including, ‘How do I reconnect with my libido after having a baby?’ (The unanimous panel answers were: “give yourself grace and time”, “use lube” and “wank”). ‘Why do I always feel too tired for sex, even though I fancy my partner?’ According to Emm, it’s to realise that fancying our partners doesn’t mean we’ll always feel in the mood – this is a myth we get sold that adds pressure and makes us feel abnormal, and that really we need to look at removing blockers to desire (such as stress and time pressures) in order to give ourselves opportunities to enjoy intimacy.
Missed the event? We’ve got you covered: this week’s issue is dedicated to delving even further into desire, both with the help of our amazing panellists, who share even more of their libido-boosting tips, along with other writers and experts. There’s Beth Ashley’s piece on the myth of the sex drive, Kaan K’s essay on their experience of exploring libido as a Trans non-binary person and a guide to four factors that might be affecting your libido, and what to do about them.
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Photo credit: Ellen Escapes
